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Victory doesn’t always feel victorious yet it should still be celebrated.

I don't post here often enough, like many things I write in my head, I create ideas and plans but spinning the different plates in life can be somewhat challenging at times! However today I wanted to share this...


Yesterday I took a leap of faith and shared a personal post to my social media communities. I was out of my comfort zone sharing something that I held so close, social media can be a hostile platform and I felt very vulnerable. However I thought if my story could speak to other people, if I could make a difference to at least one soul, to help them feel less alone or without hope it would be worth sharing.


If your not part of my community on Facebook this is what I shared, I hope you can take something from it, its a story of hope and light.


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Today marks a special day for me. It’s the day I realised victory doesn’t always feel victorious yet it can still be celebrated as the stepping stone for success.


This is me, a piece of my story...


There was once a moment where I thought I had the dream, it was a fleeting moment of pure joy as I sat in my car alone. Like many things in life, this was to be a reminder that all emotions are temporary and life undoubtedly changes. Piece by piece all I thought to be my dream began to crack until slowly it became undone. Eventually as time moved on the world as I had once known it had changed so much that it felt as though it had completely fallen apart.


I remember this time, not so long ago, when I finally said out loud to a friend that I felt like I was standing amidst a disaster. I described the way I felt was as if the walls of my life had fallen around me, the remains of rubble pilled high, it was dark, I was sad and I had no way out. I felt trapped, isolated and completely defeated. The sadness I felt at this time was immense and often manifested itself as anger. I thought all the dreams and hopes I had for my life had gone and still life kept throwing more heartache at me, one thing after another piling that rubble even higher.


Then one day I noticed a crack in the debris, flowers began to grow where there had been nothing. I realised that the sun was still shining and through gaps in the heavy sky new hope began to be born, this hope was within me. I found guides were being brought into my life, giving me new perspective and for the first time in as long as I could remember I began to see myself again. My soul spoke to me and reminded me of who I once was.


I seen a quote that read “when things seem like they are falling apart, perhaps they are really falling into place” this quote found me when I needed it the most, I began to realise this was often the case and that in every part of our journey we have something to learn that will undoubtedly align us closer to our purpose.

This outlook gave a very different landscape, my disaster zone now looked like new opportunity. It was a chance to take all the rubble of the past and turn it into the building blocks of the future. It was a chance for me to create something new, wonderful and more beautiful than before.

I began to appreciate that without the heartache I never would have seen the light, this was the chance to create a more peaceful and fulfilling life that was more authentic to who I really am. In this life I could begin to celebrate the lessons life had given me and use them to help others.


So today the 21st of May 2020 marks a very important day on this journey, it feels like the war is finally over and the rebuild is well underway.


I know now that even in our darkest moments, when the burden of things become too heavy to carry, like the sky, we can let go, release the weight of the rain and the storm that’s been stuck inside of us and allow the sun to shine again. I realise that darkness and light live within us all and after the darkness the light will inevitably follow, even when you think it wont.

Today has reminded me to believe in myself, it’s told me I am resilient, there is always hope and my heartache was worth the small victory. I have the chance to live a life that matters, to be a bigger and brighter light than I ever would have been before and that the time to do that is now.


I’m not naive to think there won’t be times of darkness in my future, there is no doubt that I will experience sadness again but I know I am strong and I am a fighter. I recognise the love and the passion within me and I know I can survive and grow.


I know who I am. Parts of me can die, for I can be reborn and flourish again. The light that burns in us all can’t be extinguished by anyone other than ourselves. We hold the light and the power within us, sometimes we just need some help to find it again.


I wish for you strength and resilience in your dark times, to know that you are not alone in your suffering. I hope that when these times come you will find the courage within to see the opportunity. I hope that the light within you all will glow so brightly that you will begin your next chapter with love and gratitude in your heart, letting go of everything else.


Today I am winning, it’s time to release old ghosts.


If your still with me thank you for reading, I hope my story might resonate and even inspire you.


Love Gemma



"There are cracks we cant fill but they don't have to be all that we see"Liz Walker a soul that has stayed with me in spirit since I was 14 years old.

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